2) You realize you have been standing in the "baby needs" aisle at the grocery store for five minutes just staring in disbelief at the sheer amount of crap you have to buy to sustain a seven pound human being.
3) You have to resist the urge to run after someone with a baby stroller and ask them
where they got it and for how much.
4) Looking at fashion magazines becomes an exercise in futility.
5) Your nephew asks your mom for more pickles at dinner and you think:
"What pickles? WHERE?!"
6) On your day off from your job, you spend five hours on the sofa watching episodes
of Six Feet Under simply because you are aware that soon you will never have that
much free time again.
7) You spend that same five hours staring at everything in your living room and
wondering how you are going to childproof it.
8) Your husband talks to your belly more than your face.
9) Everything you want to eat or drink is bad for the baby. Everything good for the
baby tastes blah.
10) Your cat has begun to avoid sitting on your lap. There is not as much room and she doesn't understand who keeps kicking her.
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