A Converted New-Englander's Promise

I, Jennifer A. Mears do solemnly swear to never bitch about how cold it is in New England again. I fully understand that by doing so, I will almost certainly be punished with an extended heat wave punctuated by sudden severe thundershowers. Furthermore, I am in full cognizance of the permanent existence of an inverse ratio of functioning air conditioning on all forms of public transportation to the relative heat/humidity index.

A Converted New-Englander's Promise