Okay, by now I'm sure you've realized that a large portion of our country's population likes, well, large portions. Visit any shopping mall, grocery store, sporting event or schoolyard and you will witness large herds of obese human beings thundering across the landscape, eating everything in their path, staggering their way towards a life sentence of heart disease and diabetes. Seating has become too small for most of us on public transportation. Airplanes have fallen out of the sky because, although the passenger list was regulation, the average weight of the passengers was not. Ferries have capsized due to the combined tonnage of their passengers shifting suddenly to starboard to get photos of surfacing whales. We stand a good chance of making ourselves extinct due to a deadly combination of eating a high-fat diet and driving to the supermarket in our high volume, gas guzzling SUV's to buy MORE food to shove down our already engorged gullets in a futile attempt to conquer the stress of being overweight, unhealthy and in debt up to our ears because of car payments and high gas prices.
So, you can imagine my relief, when I read the article in this month's
Wired about the New Zealander who built a boat that can run on human body fat. Here is the
perfect solution to most of society's problems. We will use our own ass fat to power our fat asses around.
A Modern Modest Proposal
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